![]() I fooled around with white guys in my youth and it was very discouraging at times. Those movies with the male love interest was always a handsome white guy. Any porn or anything erotic that was male that you could acquire was with white men. When I was a teenager in the ’90s that was all you had to jerk off to. Most any time a black gay male, or any gay male of color, is featured is because they’re tokens or fetishized in some way. Every magazine, movie, tv-show, porn, even music promotes it. It’s promoted endlessly that this is an ideal gay man. We see how they look, their bodies, their beards, their tattoos, their lives, and we envy that. We base our worth on the approval of white gay men. Most of those things involve white people in some way or another.Īs I’ve thought about myself and the guy with the sign over these past few years, it’s become more and more clear. Essentially we are all trained to think certain things are ideal. These days we are realizing a lot about our country and how deeply rooted racism is in the fabric of America. In my mind, it was a simple question but I’ve realized, since, that that question has more weight than I was ready to carry. What was the inclusion we were looking for? Then I thought about my yahoo question and what it said. I got to thinking about me and the black gay Norma Rae and why we felt the way we felt. I asked it because I found myself frustrated by the lack of interest I was getting from white guys. I got a few answers that were positive but didn’t really answer my question. I asked, “Why don’t white gay guys like Black gay guys?” Or something to that effect. I realized I had a taste of this long ago as a young gay black boy myself.īack when yahoo was a thing, I remember asking a question in yahoo questions. But after that day, I started seeing things more clearly. Mostly because of the obvious division of this country. Over these past 5 years or so I have been more aware of what’s happening around me. The thing is, there are so many variables in this equation. Little did I know, a seed was planted in me that day. He responded with brief positivity and then put his Norma Rae face back on. I was upset with him mostly because I didn’t know what he was doing there and why he felt the need to hold that sign up at such a happy time for everyone there.Īt a certain point he was taking up much of our standing room so we ended up moving on and for some reason, I said to him, “Happy Pride” and patted him on the back. After all, the gay community is a bit guilty of shunning certain people. One of the thoughts that I had, and again I cringe at the thought of this now, was that he wasn’t attractive and maybe that’s why he felt that. ![]() And my friends just kind of empathized with him, but were so into the spirit of the parade that they kind of shrugged it off. After all, I felt included and it’s not my fault that he didn’t. Either way, for me, it was uncomfortable to see.Īdmittedly, even I was upset that he was there holding that sign because we were all having a great time. The people who were trying to give him love, you could tell were either trying to make up for the lack of inclusion he felt or were trying to convince him of something he knew wasn’t true. The people who booed at him were upset that there was this Debbie downer ruining our good vibes and time. All I knew was that it was the equivalent of someone confronting someone in a movie and you have to leave the room because you can’t handle seeing it.Įveryone who passed him either booed at him or tried giving him some love. I remember feeling very unsettled by this and I wasn’t sure why. ![]() He had this look of determination on his face, lips slightly curled. Partly because he was holding it up like Sally Field in Norma Rae. It definitely packed more of a punch than I’m describing it because it was quite polarizing. It said something to the effect of him not feeling included in the gay community. For the life of me, I can’t remember what the sign said. During the parade there was a young black man, not in the parade, standing near us, holding a sign.
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